Making Requests a Way of Life
March 14, 2013
In Joseph Friedman’s last post (The Three Guidelines to Maximize Your Conversational ROI) he calls conversations, “the actions of business.” Conversations either forward action, or they don’t.
When I was first introduced to the concept of conversations as action, it challenged the way I thought about things. “Conversations are actions? But they’re just a bunch of talking. Isn’t talk cheap?”
As Joseph points out, however, there are different kinds of talk. And, in fact, not only is talk not cheap, it’s quite the opposite: skillful conversations result in profit.
As I started to pay attention to the conversations I had, I noticed how often I made assumptions. “Well, we talked about the need for that project to get done, so I’m sure it will. Right?” Or, worse, “I’m sure they’ll take care of that.”
More often than not, those conversations didn’t actually produce results. (It’s amazing how often this happens.)
At the core of these inefficient conversations was usually an assumed request that never actually got made and accepted. “Will you do this? By when?” stays unsaid.
Seeing this opened my eyes to the power of language. Clear, explicit requests are more difficult to make. They require an additional investment of time and energy--whereas a conversation without requests may not. If I make a request, I am putting myself on the line, and asking that someone else join me there.
But this is how a conversation gets results.
I came across this talk this morning that exemplifies this concept far better than I could.
In it, musician and performance artist Amanda Palmer, talks about taking on “how to ask” as, basically, a way of life. Starting out as a sidewalk performer doing frozen statues for passersby, Palmer eventually became a popular musical artist--and a savvy entrepreneur. The result: A crowd funding campaign turning into $1.2 million dollars—the largest online music crowd funding project to date.
Sure, we’re not working in the same field. Our stakes are higher, and the dollar signs larger. (And, perhaps, our choice of expression is less…colorful). Still, Palmer exemplifies the power of not just making requests, but “being” a request. Her willingness to stay in connection, make clear requests, and stand in uncertainty in exchange for a commitment to making something extraordinary happen is exactly what we’re about at JMJ.
As the teams and organizations take on the tools of powerful conversations, they bring into existence results that reflect the core of their commitments—people everywhere going home safe and unharmed, billion dollar mega projects getting done under budget, and organizations accomplishing goals far exceeding past expectations. We see it all the time.
What amazes me is that at the heart of these huge achievements are simple conversations. It seems the better we are at these conversations, the more effective we become. Assumptions drop away and, with them, goes the sort of ambiguity that furthers those “I’m sure they’ll take care of that” traps. Of course, there’s more to the story than just a request, but, often, the road to results begins with the ask. And, to me, that’s worth taking on.
In Joseph Friedman’s last post (The Three Guidelines to Maximize Your Conversational ROI) he calls conversations, “the actions of business.” Conversations either forward action, or they don’t.
When I was first introduced to the concept of conversations as action, it challenged the way I thought about things. “Conversations are actions? But they’re just a bunch of talking. Isn’t talk cheap?”
